Despite the fact that I have been in a rather unhappy place, I have still been productive. For some reason, when I am feeling down, I love to clean. That has been the only thing I have been enthusiastic about this week. I have been asked the same question repeatedly for days.... "Why are you so quiet?" "Is something wrong?" "Are you mad at me?" "Are you in a bad mood?" Okay...So the questions were different, but they all basically mean the same thing. The truth is, I don't mean to be "quiet." I don't know what is wrong. I'm not angry at anyone. And "bad mood" is not the most accurate phrase to describe how I am feeling. I don't know what I am feeling and why. All I do know is that whatever it is, I wish it would disappear so I can go back to being the happy version of myself. I like that Jenn so much more.
I am going to a wedding this afternoon. Truth be told, I would just about rather do anything. That sounds awful I know, but it is for a coworker that I barely know personally. It is one of those "have to" kind-of things. I like for Sundays to be relaxed. The thought of putting on a dress, heels, and full makeup makes me less than thrilled. I should be excited to dress up since I rarely do it these days, but I am definitely not. This is a perfect reflection of my attitude lately. I am so frustrated. If only I could snap my fingers and perk right up. Hopefully the coming week will bring positive thoughts my way. My fingers are crossed.
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